Have you ever feel broken but seems free? I do know that I’m not mentally stable for this exact moment. And I’m trying to heal my heart while finding myself in the process.
This is not easy, at all. Not once or twice, where I suddenly cried. Not once or twice, when I’m craving for attention. And when I don’t get it, I’ll throw some tantrum to my friends. I know I could be so annoying. Sometimes I ghosting my friends too and made them worried about me. And I’m sorry.
I’m still figure out how to heal myself. How to enjoy myself again, like I used to. I’m trying to do whatever that I want to try. Right know, I’m learning some new languages, since I’ve ever dreamed about being polyglot. Learning to dance properly (finally). Trying to invest again, learning how to do forex. Learn how to praying well, being closer with The Almighty. Learning some soft skill, learning what I want in life.
These things that I’m done and still doing are the way I cope from broken-hearted. And to fulfill myself. This won’t be easy, there’s some moment where I feel worthless, unwanted, desperate, and useless. Where I feel tired doing all that stuff. But that’s okay, it’s okay to feel down and I know that I’ll be okay. Although not now, someday I’ll.
All I need to do is trying. You’re doing well fem. Just hang on.